The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
A groundbreaking approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other intractable behaviours, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in this field, now updated to include the most recent research.
Almost everyone knows an explosive child, one whose frequent, severe fits of temper leave his or her parents standing helpless in their fear, frustration, and guilt. Most of these parents have tried everything—reasoning, behaviour modification, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They wonder if their child is deviant or just plain bad.
Dr. Ross Greene has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren't bad, and neither are their parents. Rather, explosive children suffer from a physiological deficiency in frustration tolerance and flexibility. Throughout this compassionate book, Dr. Greene demonstrates why traditional treatments don't work for these kids and offers a new conceptual framework for understanding their behaviour, along with new language to describe it. He explains the latest neuroscience findings about the importance of flexibility, and, most important, he shows parents specific, practical ways they can recognize the signs of an impending explosion, defuse tension, and reduce frustration levels for the entire family.
- For parents, psychologists, educators and ADHD groups.
- In addition to the scientific foundation of the book, Greene addresses parents in practical ways that will help show results in difficult children and their effect on families.
Pick Your Battles - and agree on them.
I picked this book up because the description sounded familiar and I've read and researched so much that I'm pretty much willing to read anything. I'd rub crystals together and chant Barney songs if it would help. My son has some issues with controlling his emotions/frustrations. The opening chapter of this book starts with a girl having a complete meltdown over waffles? Why? Because her expectations got changed abruptly and she lacked the skills to come up with another solution. I nearly started crying because that little girl sounded so familiar. Right down to room running and screaming.
The author calls this a lack of skill in the "frustration tolerance and flexibility". Oh thank god there are other parents out there that go through this. It's not just me. I know to some people the book sounds like more of a kid that has a hard head, but it's more than that. The remorse he goes through after a blow up and we talk it out is pretty amazing. So far, out of everything I've read, researched, etc - this book and this approach seems to fit his personality.
I will admit that we are still struggling with the Plan B thing. I sometimes give up, get frustrated myself and invoke my own plan (or just give up and let him do what he wants). It's not a perfect thing and it takes, as a parent, a LOT of commitment and patience. BUT when we do succeed at it, it's bliss.
My son is not a bad kid (as anyone who meets him will tell you). He's a very sweet loving boy that loves to give kisses and hugs - yes, even at 9-years-old. But he completely loses it. It's usually shortlived and he usually manages to only have meltdowns at home, which is good, he is able to control it until he feels safe.
ANYWAY, this isn't about my kid, but about the book - it has made a positive impact when we are able to successfully put Plan B into motion. We still have some setbacks - like a plan we agree on doesn't work or I sometimes get frustrated myself, but my husband is reading this book now and I know that once we both get the skills down, we will be successful. I like the way the information is presented. It's not a "this is what is wrong with your kid and this is how you fix it" type of a read, but more of a conversation and the author readily admits that it's kind of a crap shoot, you just have to keep whittling away at it. I will admit that the dialogue the author uses in the book is a bit stilted and maybe unrealistic, but maybe it's because I talk to my kids a little differently, BUT it's just examples so I've changed the wording and whatnot to fit more into our family. If I can get my son to laugh first, the whole conversation takes on a better tone and he is more willing to help me find solutions.
I see he has another book or two, one for educators. I'm considering picking that up as well to see if it can give me some additional insight.
I highly recommend this book if you think you have an "explosive" child on your hands. I don't know if this is ultimately what will be our turning point, but so far the results we've seen have been pretty amazing. But this book is for parents that don't mind "losing" a fight or are inflexible themselves. This book is a definite take on the whole 'pick your battles' mentality, which, luckily, my husband and I agree on wholeheartedly.
Great Book
If you have a difficult child this is a must read. No book is an end all solution but this is an approach that definitly makes sense and has made a big difference in my house thus far. If you can identify with the children they describe then it is a good chance this could be beneficial to you. The book was recommended to me by my sons psychologist who has been to seminars by this author and saw a lot of similarities in the type of child it discusses.
Book review
Well written, but only covers a specfic type of behavior. Main asumption that kids will do well if possible has some holes in the theory that are not addressed. Would be good and helpfull for parents whose children fit these type of behavior pattern.
Easy Read
This book was an easy read and full off examples. I like that this book goes away from the "this child needs more discipline" approach because chances are parents have already done this. This book is not for those who are looking for the easy way to handle their children (if there is one), but it is uesful for parents who have tried everything.
Good book for parents
This is a great book for parents of children with challenging behavior. It presents practical strategies that can be used every day. More importantly, however, I think parents will find this encouraging that they are not alone and there is something they can do.
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Flexibility and tolerance are learned skills, as any parent knows if they've seen an irascible 2-year-old grow into a pleasant, thoughtful, and considerate older child. Unfortunately, for reasons that are poorly understood, a few children don't "get" this part of socialization. Years after toddler tantrums should have become an unpleasant memory, a few unlucky parents find themselves battling with sudden, inexplicable, disturbingly violent rages--along with crushing guilt about what they "did wrong." Medical experts haven't helped much: the flurry of acronyms and labels (Tourette's, ADHD, ADD, etc.) seems to proffer new discoveries about the causes of such explosions, when in fact the only new development is alternative vocabulary to describe the effects. Ross Greene, a pediatric psychologist who also teaches at Harvard Medical School, makes a bold and humane attempt in this book to cut through the blather and speak directly to the (usually desperate) parents of explosive children. His text is long and serious, and has the advantage of covering an enormous amount of ground with nuance, detail, and sympathy, but also perhaps the disadvantage that only those parents who are not chronically tired and time-deprived are likely to get through the entire book. Quoted dialogue from actual sessions with parents and children is interspersed with analysis that is always oriented toward understanding the origins of "meltdowns" and developing workable strategies for avoidance. Although pharmacological treatment is not the book's focus, there is a chapter on drug therapies. --Richard Farr
Product Description:
A groundbreaking approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other intractable behaviours, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in this field, now updated to include the most recent research.
Almost everyone knows an explosive child, one whose frequent, severe fits of temper leave his or her parents standing helpless in their fear, frustration, and guilt. Most of these parents have tried everything—reasoning, behaviour modification, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They wonder if their child is deviant or just plain bad.
Dr. Ross Greene has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren't bad, and neither are their parents. Rather, explosive children suffer from a physiological deficiency in frustration tolerance and flexibility. Throughout this compassionate book, Dr. Greene demonstrates why traditional treatments don't work for these kids and offers a new conceptual framework for understanding their behaviour, along with new language to describe it. He explains the latest neuroscience findings about the importance of flexibility, and, most important, he shows parents specific, practical ways they can recognize the signs of an impending explosion, defuse tension, and reduce frustration levels for the entire family.
- For parents, psychologists, educators and ADHD groups.
- In addition to the scientific foundation of the book, Greene addresses parents in practical ways that will help show results in difficult children and their effect on families.
ISBN: 006077939X
Number Of Pages: 320
Release Date: 2005-09-20
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